Moving on… sometimes
Monday, April 21st, 2008I haven’t posted here for some time. It’s never far from my mind but I manage to keep it behind me… most of the time.
Our girls have been getting on with their lives for the most part, but periodically things come out. One has broken up with a boyfriend and we thought that this was at her instigation and she was happy but a few weeks ago she had a night out with workmates, too much to drink, and it all came flooding back to her. She did some things she would never normally do if she was sober - it scared both her father and me. We can thank God that it all turned out ok and she was protected.
Another daughter has gone back to counselling but she doesn’t share what about. Can’t help wondering if it’s all about this. She’s in her mid 20s, never had a boyfriend and her dad is the only male she’ll come close to. Doing her studies, trying to get work, it’s probably all crowding in on her.
And the third seems happy in her work and social life but won’t let any guys get close. She has a mouth that tends to scare guys off - she can give back as good as they give and lots more. It will have to be a very caring, and patient man who captures her heart. She jokes about it all but underneath I can’t help thinking my father is responsible for this.
Our girls should have had normal happy teenage lives and in regular circumstances they should all have happy relationships too by now. Our other two daughters (one older, one younger) are both married and happy… and were not touched by my father. Kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?
Recent events with a group I belong to online has indicated someone like my father has been hanging around the group. It immediately conjours up all sorts of ideas and thoughts amongst others as the word gets around and immediately I begin to view every male on the list as suspicious. I know I shouldn’t but can’t help it. It’s the same when I’m out in the street and see older men walking or shuffling along - someone who could be in the same age group as my dad. I wonder if their grandkids were safe with them as my kids should have been with their’s.