Almost a year later
It’s nearly a year since our daughter took her life. Nothing has changed. Dad remains free and uncharged but I have heard from my brother that he has become a bitter man. What’s he got to be bitter about? That we say he did what he did? That mum has disowned me and won’t believe me and says we’re lying? He deserves to lose his family connections. He betrayed me, his daughter, in the worst possible way. His promise of loving me and protecting me as I grew up has been thrown away and destroyed.
I’ve lost my parents and my family are split up. I live in a different state to my sisters and brother and we all live in different states to our parents. I wonder if somehow that’s because of what’s taken place? To me it seems like an odd sense of justice.
We did have the police investigating for sometime and tracking down children we know who have stayed overnight at mum and dad’s but no-one has anything to say. We also got the police to track down an old schoolfriend whom we know always used to come visit our dad when we were young because she had said her dad didn’t understand her.
I look back now and see the clinging this girl did to our dad and wonder why kind of relationship he had with her? The police have reported back that this now grown woman has little memory of her childhood, presumably blocked because of something that happened between her dad and her. I can’t help thinking in reality it was because of what my dad may have done to her. Will we ever know?
My husband goes to counselling regularly, I have been now and then and have female friends I talk to and cry with. One of our daughters is struggling and has begun to see a counsellor. The others seem to be getting on with their lives and living away from home and not under our roof means they see nothing of what their parents have struggled with.
How I pray for justice for our lost daughter. How much I want my father charged and the sin he’s committed acknowledged and brought out in the open. Is there no-one who can help us?